so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
