wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
