Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
