hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
