dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
