i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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