No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
