So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
