Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
