Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
