He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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