A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
