Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she pinky promised me she was 18
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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