I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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