I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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