So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
