"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
