spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I need to sanitize my soul.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize