come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm sobbing to NWA
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
