He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
