Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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