Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
