East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
