Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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