Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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