i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize