Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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