Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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