Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Small penises have feelings too.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
