I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
