There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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