I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
