you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
