you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
