I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
