I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
