I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Houston, we have a squirter
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize