you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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