id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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