I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
