i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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