Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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