New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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