Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
