i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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