Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize