someone owes me an orgasm
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
