Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
