hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize