Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
