Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize