I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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