What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
420 ftw
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
