She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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