i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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