How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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