He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize