i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Randomize
