in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
